At the last minute the Hub and I decided to go to Germany to see our darling youngest daughter. She sings in the chorus of an opera company there and the chorus has extra concerts. Saturday night, our daughter gets to perform by herself for one song. And then Sunday night is the opera. Can’t wait to see the town she’s living in and enjoying a few days of fun, love, and wurst.
So I’m in the high of anticipating this great trip and of course today is the day the only agent, and the last agent sends me the dreaded rejection. I was through with all that when out-of-the-blue I get a request for 50 pages. An old query finally answered. The crazy thing is that I knew it would turn out like this. But I also know my second novel rocks. I’ve had great feedback from testers. I just don’t get it. And I also don’t get why I care. Yes, I can’t get my book in stores being POD and I know the giant chain store model is dying. But still. It would be really something to have that. But I have to step away from my ego and let go. It’s well-written, a grabber, and so what if I never play with the big boys. The writing is what’s supposed to matter. Not the recognition. I know I can pander to the taste of the masses. I certainly can write steamy S&M. But you know, I won’t read that crap so why write it. My muse doesn’t give me that. I have to go with what moves me.
With that said, I’m on a roll with finding ways of staying positive. I’m reading some fabulous stuff about how at the quantum level everything is connected. And I watched some inspiring films. So the hell with fame, LOL. The hell with material riches. The hell with acclaim for my fabulous writing style.
Cause I’m going to Germany tomorrow to hear the rich and lovely soprano of the cosmos’s gift to me. My daughter, my beautiful and wonderful daughter. And she is just one of four glorious children and their families that make me say “thank you” for this life.